Me.. just me.
U know...

People keep asking me how I'm doing....

And I always say 'fine' or 'alive' or something similar...

But the truth is, I haven't been alive since Kim got sick.

I exist, but that's it.

I can't live without Kim. I can't survive without knowing it's going to be ok... And I just don't know that it will..

Someone just pointed out to me, that my feelings for Kim parralel 'Pepper' from Kim's seried EXPO Summer. But Pepper never failed Kim of her own will. Pepper was kept from protecting Kim...

I've been with Kim through it all, and somehow I failed. I was the person in charge of keeping her safe. I managed her diet. I kept track of her medications and I failed somewhere.

I know people are going to say it's not my fault. I would say the same to someone else in the same position. But I FAILED!

As I sit here now, I'm trying to get Kim to eat something. I'm not sure how to get it done. I've managed 3 bites of apple suace and 3 sips of the choco health shake. Nothing solid.

I don't know what to do, or how to fix it. Above all, I fear it can't be fixed.

-Piper/Failue at everything important.

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Labels: deborah, kim, Me, piper, skrewed in the head

- posted by GeekBrat @ 5:16 PM