Is it wrong????
Is it wrong of me, to want Kim to keep fighting?

Is it wrong of me to want her to keep enduring?

Last couple days, she's been asking for Pain meds alot. And the Docs helping her, and keeping her going..

But I can't but wonder, is she doing this because it's what she really wants, or is it because of US.

I want her around. I never want to have to let her go. I love her truly.

We had a talk with a doc from the hospital's Ethics Comity today...

He felt, he was ethically obligated to tell us, that further aggressive treatment was "futile" and that the medical staff recommends making her 'comfortable'.

He said that that wasn't a "general concession" but instead it was a unanimous concession of the medical staff.

He also said, that he recommends a second opinion, if for nothing else, than Bill's and My piece of mind.

He also said, that the concession was that Bill and I were appropriately speaking for Kim's wishes when she wasn't lucid, and that this was confirmed by her in the times when she is lucid.

By my number one question is this:

WHY KIM?

I know people ask that often. Why me, Why now, Why, why, why....

My impulse is to say, that Kim's illness is proof that there is no God.

But I can't honestly belive that, no matter how angry and upset I am.

Truth be told, I feel that Kim and my finding of each other, and our time together is proof that he/she exists.

I have done many things in my life that I am less than proud of.

And truth be told, I have done many things in my life, that I HAVE been proud of, but probably shouldn't be.

But instead of living by myself in a self imposed hell, I've had GREAT friends, friends so supportive that I care for them more than my family, just poured onto me.

How could this happen if there wasn't someone or something looking out for me?

But at the same point, I still need to know. WHY KIM? WHY NOW? Why Why Why!

-The one sitting in a puddle of tears.
- posted by GeekBrat @ 6:25 PM