I really don't know what to say here.

I know what I mean.

I don't know how to say it.

That being said, I could say it outright. But that might push people away that I don't want to push further away.

Even if they have seemed to have totally discarded me.

It hurts to be discarded. It hurts to feel like you have been thrown away like a peice of trash. It really does.

I have some really close friends in my life. I've been blessed with knowing them. Kim was a true angel for sure. And this has nothing to do with the friends that I interact with every day. Or even those of you I interact with on an occasional basis.

This has to do with ONE person, whom I considered family. Whom I shared some thing with, that I didn't even share with Kim. A person whom Kim held in her heart even closer than I at times, as hard as that may be for some to belive.

A person whom I found out today, is still alive and semi well, a person that is well enough to comment on the formatting of various websites....

A Person whom wouldn't even return my phone calls when Kim was dying. 

Someone whom yes has a serious medical condition. But has chosen to lock herself away and void all contact.

And god damnit, as much as I love her, I am so pissed at her. And angry at her!

I don't know if she meant to throw me/us away like that. But at the time we needed her most, the time when Kim would have literally killed to hear her voice... She was not there... No matter how much I tried to contact her...

It's been 5 months now since Kim passed...

Not a single email.

Not a single phone call.

No instant messages.

No snail mail.

Not ONE thing!

I just feel like garbage, and maybee that's because I am.

-Piper/GeekGirl/The one that is lower in life than the snot rag in the corner.