GeekBlog
Friday, January 23, 2009
 
I had a Dream...
I had a dream recently... 

I don't dream often these days...

Early in december I had 3 or 4 dreams, all of which I have noted down for use as story ideas...

Last night I had a Dream about Kim...

I had a dream like this once before...

Like previously, Kim wasn't dead (of course), but it was just a hospital mistake.. She was alive and well...

But unlike last time where she came home and was happy....

This time in the dream, she was still in the hospital, and still sick...

But she was aware, and awake, and wanting to come home....

And still alive....

I know whenever I post that I feel like I failed Kim, people get upset....

But sometimes I can't help it and that's how I feel...

I feel like I should have been able to do something....

I feel like I should have insisted she be allowed to come home....

I Love her, and I Miss her....

And I do somtimes feel like I failed her...

But I don't belive that she feels that way....

I Feel that she is mostly happy where she is....

I say mostly because she doesn't have me or Bill...

But she does have her loving parents....

And Pepper.... She really missed Pepper.... And Pepper missed her....

Just Like I miss her now... And Penny Misses her... And Bill Misses her... And Cat... Well you get the idea....

I don't know how to hold it in sometimes... I don't know what to do....

Sometimes I feel like she is being my muse....

Because my writing is not worth anything without Kim....

But somtimes, I get these ideas, or these spurts of energy and I just want to say "Hi Kim, and Thank you!"

I love her so much and I hope she knows this.

I'm sure everyone will tell me "She does"... But sometimes it's just hard to belive that for yourself...

N-E-Ways, it's past 4am in the morning and I need to go-2-bed...

I have some crying to do....

-P/KAF/The one with the puddles shoring out the keyboard....

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