GeekBlog
Friday, January 23, 2009
I had a Dream...
I had a dream recently...
I don't dream often these days...
Early in december I had 3 or 4 dreams, all of which I have noted down for use as story ideas...
Last night I had a Dream about Kim...
I had a dream like this once before...
Like previously, Kim wasn't dead (of course), but it was just a hospital mistake.. She was alive and well...
But unlike last time where she came home and was happy....
This time in the dream, she was still in the hospital, and still sick...
But she was aware, and awake, and wanting to come home....
And still alive....
I know whenever I post that I feel like I failed Kim, people get upset....
But sometimes I can't help it and that's how I feel...
I feel like I should have been able to do something....
I feel like I should have insisted she be allowed to come home....
I Love her, and I Miss her....
And I do somtimes feel like I failed her...
But I don't belive that she feels that way....
I Feel that she is mostly happy where she is....
I say mostly because she doesn't have me or Bill...
But she does have her loving parents....
And Pepper.... She really missed Pepper.... And Pepper missed her....
Just Like I miss her now... And Penny Misses her... And Bill Misses her... And Cat... Well you get the idea....
I don't know how to hold it in sometimes... I don't know what to do....
Sometimes I feel like she is being my muse....
Because my writing is not worth anything without Kim....
But somtimes, I get these ideas, or these spurts of energy and I just want to say "Hi Kim, and Thank you!"
I love her so much and I hope she knows this.
I'm sure everyone will tell me "She does"... But sometimes it's just hard to belive that for yourself...
N-E-Ways, it's past 4am in the morning and I need to go-2-bed...
I have some crying to do....
-P/KAF/The one with the puddles shoring out the keyboard....
Labels: Dreams, Failure, Kimberly Elizabeth Fox, KimEM, Life After Death, Muse, Stuff, Writing
Monday, August 04, 2008
Random things, thoughts, and stuff.
A couple years back, i had a Palm Treo 600 through T-Mobile that I used as my "california" phone (it was a $9.99/month addition to my biological Mom's plan, and had a california number). At some point, while I was working for ups (and relying on it alot for mapquest mobile) the dog (Penny, our chocolate lab/linebacker mix) chewed it. Mostly it looked like she did only cosmetic damage (screen was fine) but the phone became VERY flakely and unreliable after that...
So I did the insurance replacement thing... Problem is, T-Mobile no longer did Palm Tre0's . So I got a T-Mobile SDA (or SDA Music Phone for those with european T-Mobile, or HTC Typhoon for those geeks like me). It was a nice phone. A WM5 Smartphone, no touch screen. but it was a small high resolution screen so watching videos was awesome.
When I cancelled my addition to my mom's plan, and we upgraded our NJ Cingular plan, I moved to a ATT 8125, or HTC Wizard... When I did that, I unlocked the SDA, and gave it to Kim to use instead of her Nokia 6800 I think it was...
Now, since that 8125, I've had a 8525 (2 in fact) (8125 screen broke. I gave it to a friend whom fixed it and uses it now.... The first 8525 broke [power button issues] and got a warranty replacement) and I now have an AT&T Tilt or HTC TyTn II (US/ATT edition without the 2nd camera :( )
The point of all this is... hat since Kim passed, I have been using the SDA phone for myself more often than my really neat phone with GPS and Full Keyboard and whatnot...
I just upgraded the SDA to WM6.1 in fact, and even ported Kim's custom theme over...
I keep customizing the phone for me but making sre that it's still KIM's phone...
Is that weird?
Surprisingly I've made it through this whole post, thinking of Kim fondly and haven't yet shed a single tear... But now that I said that my body is going to try and make me a liar...
-HuGgLeS-
-Piper/PiggilyTails/One lost little girl....
Labels: ATT, Cellphones, HTC, kim, Kimberly Elizabeth Fox, KimEM, Smarphones, T-Mobile, Windows Mobile.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Another kim update for the day....
Well the Cardioaversion or TEE (heard it caled both but I guess they could be different) will not happen today. They are going to do a chest x-ray to lok at the fluids on the lungs :)
They are tenatively scheduleing for tomorrow but it's all still up in the air.
The are afraid her oxygen absorbtion is too low for the TEE (which I just found out is when they use a probe through the stomache to check out the heart to check for blockage). They are currently afraid there is a new blockage.. Joy...
The MICU attendings have come by and said she's too healthy to move to MICU which is good, but we never knew they were looking into that... Aparently they might do a drip to remove more fluid. They just lowered her Bumex (diuretic) drip to 1.6mL/hr it was 3.2mL/hr...
They are doing 'blood gas' right now... will post more when I know more.
-Piper
Posted from moBlog – mobile blogging tool for Windows Mobile
Labels: cardioaversion, CHF, deborah, KimEM, MICU, TEE
