Nightmares....
Well, one of the things Kim used to do....

Was keep me safe from my nightmares...

Luckily I haven't had issues with nightmares since Kim passed...

Untill tonite...

Well, one thing people really close to me know, I'm a REALLY insecure person. NEEDY most would probably say. Well one of my recurring nightmares, involved the people closest to me (Kim and Bill), up and leaving, and/or just generally kicking me out of their life.

Well, apparently, my unconcious mind has managed to figure out, that those same dreams won't scare me as much... so tonite, I woke up crying because my 2 really close friends, Cat and Robyn had abandoned me and done all kinds of bad things...

On the good side, it's not the same old dream, on the bad side.... Kim was around to help me through all the old dreams... But atleast I woke up crying, and not screaming.

I want to close this letter saying "LIFE TRUELY SUCKS" but the truth is, that it only sucks without Kim.

-Frightened, Insecure, Petrified, toddler like person.
- posted by GeekBrat @ 4:15 AM

 
While Kim was in the hospital....
While Kim was in the hospital, Myself, Bill, and Cat, started working on planning a trip to Florida for when Kim was better... We promised her that we would go to Florida in November, and visit Disney, and Universal, and even watch a Shuttle launch...

This wasn't something new for Kim, she used to live there in fact...

I remember asking her HOW many shuttle launches she'd seen live (Cat wanted to know), and I can't remember her answer, I believe it was more than 5...

I've never been to Disney World (been to Disney Land many times), nor Universal, nor anywhere in the state of FL...

I was so looking forward to Kim showing me around, and telling me the stories of how this got there, and why that looks like that...

That's the way she was... She knew about most everything. There was so much in the world that interested her, and she was able to soak it up and tell you about it later, in such a way that was just amazing...

I know a bit about computers, and a bit about a few other things....

But without Kim, I'd be a clueless idiot on the side of the road.

Kim managed to teach me things that I completely ignore in school. Things that I normally would have found completely boring. But Kim was pure magic.

Anyways, the point of this post is that we are still going through with our plans. Myself, Bill, Cat, Maggie the Kitten, and 2 other friends will all be in FL this November. We plan to do everything we possibly can in a week, including watching the shuttle launch.

I feel a little bit bad, because Kim should DEFINITELY be there, but at the same time, I know it's important that we go, so that Kim knows we weren't just putting her on.

Every day, I feel like I love her more, and I miss her just as much, but as many have advised me, I find I cry less.... But I don't love her less for sure.

Well, this is DEFINITELY not one of those times where I cry less... My eyes are currently burning like mad, and I'm fighting the pain so that I can finish this post. I pray often, and just talk to myself out loud, hoping she can hear me. I miss her much, and love her deeply.

-Piperishk like person drowning in a puddle of tears.
- posted by GeekBrat @ 9:33 PM

 
Random things, thoughts, and stuff.
A couple years back, i had a Palm Treo 600 through T-Mobile that I used as my "california" phone (it was a $9.99/month addition to my biological Mom's plan, and had a california number). At some point, while I was working for ups (and relying on it alot for mapquest mobile) the dog (Penny, our chocolate lab/linebacker mix) chewed it. Mostly it looked like she did only cosmetic damage (screen was fine) but the phone became VERY flakely and unreliable after that...

So I did the insurance replacement thing... Problem is, T-Mobile no longer did Palm Tre0's . So I got a T-Mobile SDA (or SDA Music Phone for those with european T-Mobile, or HTC Typhoon for those geeks like me). It was a nice phone. A WM5 Smartphone, no touch screen. but it was a small high resolution screen so watching videos was awesome.

When I cancelled my addition to my mom's plan, and we upgraded our NJ Cingular plan, I moved to a ATT 8125, or HTC Wizard... When I did that, I unlocked the SDA, and gave it to Kim to use instead of her Nokia 6800 I think it was...

Now, since that 8125, I've had a 8525 (2 in fact) (8125 screen broke. I gave it to a friend whom fixed it and uses it now.... The first 8525 broke [power button issues] and got a warranty replacement) and I now have an AT&T Tilt or HTC TyTn II (US/ATT edition without the 2nd camera :( )

The point of all this is... hat since Kim passed, I have been using the SDA phone for myself more often than my really neat phone with GPS and Full Keyboard and whatnot...

I just upgraded the SDA to WM6.1 in fact, and even ported Kim's custom theme over...

I keep customizing the phone for me but making sre that it's still KIM's phone...

Is that weird?

Surprisingly I've made it through this whole post, thinking of Kim fondly and haven't yet shed a single tear... But now that I said that my body is going to try and make me a liar...

-HuGgLeS-
-Piper/PiggilyTails/One lost little girl....

Labels: ATT, Cellphones, HTC, kim, Kimberly Elizabeth Fox, KimEM, Smarphones, T-Mobile, Windows Mobile.

- posted by GeekBrat @ 3:50 PM